The other day, my fiancee and I sat around as she delved into the wonderful world of the life of a travel agent.

She was helping a woman plan her family trip to San Diego, I think.

The woman kept changing her mind a million times till finally fiancee decided they would be shot into the sun and that was that.

We then started talking about planning our perfect wedding and honeymoon.



“Cleveland, Ohio!!!” I screamed crazily.

“I don’t think so!!!!”

“Why not?” I replied with my puppy dog eyes, almost crying into my chocolate milk.

“That’s not romantic enough!!”

“The frack you say!!! NOT ROMANTIC ENOUGH!?!! Well, then how about Trenton, New Jersey!!?”


I was devastated!

How could I marry a woman who didn’t think either city of joy and romance was not ROMANTIC enough for a honeymoon!!!

So I decided to hit the Internet and prove her wrong(which men, word of advice, even when you right, when it comes to women, you’re wrong!!!!)

And hence was born this article


The original title was going to be – A most romantic honeymoon trip: Or why I’ll probably never get married again – but hell, lets go for click bait!! (Hi you peeps looking for honey moon ideas!!!  You won’t find any here but thanks for stopping by!!!!)

So off we go, first stop:

1)Cleveland, Ohio – Unofficial motto: Why not get married here and then for the honeymoon, buy the Cleveland Browns? Cheap! $1.95!!!

What Wikipedia has to say: Cleveland is a city in the U.S. state of Ohio and the county seat of Cuyahoga County, the state’s second most populous county. 

 396,815 (of the most romantic people in all the land!!! Just don’t tell the people of Cincinnati that!! They’ll claw your eyes out!!!!!)

Things to do in Cleveland, Ohio – (More details here — )

  1. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame – do I have to say anymore? Of course I don’t!!!! CLEVELAND ROCKS!!!!!
  2. Cleveland Museum of Art – Looks neat!! And what isn’t romantic about art?
  3. A Christmas Story House – Live the movie. But watch out, you could lose an eye!!!
  4. USS Cod Submarine Memorial – Tour the submarine responsible for the sinking of nearly 30,000 tons of Japanese ships during WWII.(as stolen from Trip Adviser!) What doesn’t say I LOVE YOU then touring a sub from WWII!!! Hello?

And so many others(it has a zoo!!!! WITH A HIPPO!! Advice to the men- do NOT make a joke about the hippo resembling your mother in law!!!! )

2)Trenton, New Jersey – Unofficial Motto: Wha? Youse wants some cement shoes with that brick to the head?

What Wikipedia has to say: Trenton is the capital city of the U.S. state of New Jersey and the county seat of Mercer County. It was briefly the capital of the United States.

Population: 84,056 (2016) (Youse gots a problem with that? )

Things to do in Trenton, New Jersey: (Check da list at

  1. Arm and Hammer Park -What says “I wanna be with you for the rest of my life!” than baseball? A bat to the head? HURRAH!!!! You old romantic fool you!!
  2. Old Barracks Museum – So much romance makes my pee pee itch and burn and OH GOD, IT’S BLEEDING NOW!!
  3. New Jersey State House – Ever wonder what happens in the state house? Me neither!!!
  4. Rockville Climbing Center – EXCITING!!!!

3)Paris, Kentucky – Unofficial Motto: Yes, we are the true ‘City of Love’, shaddup Paris, Texas!

What Wikipedia has to say: Paris is a home rule-class city in Bourbon County, Kentucky, in the United States. It lies 18 miles northeast of Lexington on the Stoner Fork of the Licking River. 

Population: 9,840 (2016) – (Stoner fork?? Licking River??? ~rotflmao~)

Things to do in Paris, Kentucky: (The list is right here – )

  1. Okay, here I usually put a few sites like the drive in or the state house or Aunt Martha’s house of ill- repute but we all know why you’ll want to go to Paris, Kentucky – BOURBON!!!! Get drunk, get naked and uh, whatever it is you two do at that state!!!!

I could go on and on about the most romantic cities, but I think this list ( might be pretty awesome as well.

Louisville, Kentucky??

Hey honey, we don’t even have to leave our back yard!!!!


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