June 28th, 2017 – Somewhere in the Universe – Possibly Earth

Elvis Presley and Richard Nixon discuss blue pants

6 days before the Fourth of July here in the states, the people, by the billion, come screaming through the checkout stand.

They seem happy. Me, the cashier, checker, the guy behind the register, seems happy.

The drugs are kicking in, the meds are wonderful.



“Pleasant day!” he says, smiling, most reply happily, some just stand there, staring into his soul.

Those are the ones who get knifed.

I kid, he just moves on, scanning, a thousand items, coupons get thrown at him like he is some sort of high class stripper on a Wednesday morning.

“$154.95? That seems high!” the one says, two full carts of stuff, mostly high priced organic crap.

I smile. “All the coupons, sales, your mom’s vagina have come off!”

They are not satisfied but they pay, they all must pay, to get their tasty bananas and liverwurst!

The masses keep streaming through, it’s getting close to the Fourth of July, when America celebrates the day we killed off the alien invasion.

Will Smith was there, he helped kill em off, ask him.

He finds it hilarious when you do that!

So he keeps scanning, making up songs, mostly about beer and prostitutes in North Dakota.

The other cashiers want to call the funny farm.

“He’s losing it!” one of them tells the front end manager.

“You’ve been flirting with the meat department lady haven’t you?” another asks.

“Maybe!” he replies, smiling.

He begins to dream about sitting on a tropical beach, a drink in one hand and a lollipop in the other, for no other reason than to add to the drama.

The world keeps spinning, pissed off old man comes through his line, the price of toilet paper is way too high, back in his day, TP cost two cents.

July 10th, 1952, it all went to shit, his words, what happened?

Harry Truman let the aliens in.

True story.

The story never ends, Richard Nixon wore blue pants, tell your neighbors!

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