July 5th, 2017 – Butte, Montana

My dearest one,

My truest love who art in Heaven,

The one who still to this day drives me wild in love, who left me for the Heavenly plane, to suffer here, who left me to dance in love with others, who think I am crazy, you knew I was, even before we met in real time.



When you left me that night, not by choice, you took most of my heart, you took all of my soul.

How I still miss thee, how I wish you were here with me still.

Last night, on the 3rd, I watched the fireworks, alone.

I remembered that first time we saw the fireworks on the Hill, we kissed, as lovers, not just as spouses.

The children, other peoples’, as we had none, gagged.

True loves awed.

You were and still are my poison.

I dreamed of you the other night, a wonderful dream, you kissed me on the lips, said you would see me again, forever, always be with me.

I woke up crying.

I didn’t want to wake up.

I told my new love about it.

She understands.

How I know she is the next one, my true love!

If I close my eyes, will I wake from this dream?

I dare not close them as if I do, you will disappear.

I have met another, a lover, who knows I am crazy but who still loves me as I am.

I am a mess.

I am back to work, a hard worker, an asset, but it still feels like I am empty.

I still want you here, to kiss you one last time, to never let you go.

Why did you have to leave me, my soul mate?

My true love.

As I type these words, I cry.

I can feel your spirit here, trying to hold me.

I wish you were here to answer me, to tell me why, I ask God but He stays silence.

Others who come through my line ask the same questions, who lost their loves, tried to find their earthly new soul mates, failed miserably.

One told me, she dated a man, a nice fellow but he wasn’t her true love, he was waiting on the other side.

I have done the same.

Last summer, I dated a girl, she told me she loved me, then dumped me and now hates me to the point she can’t look at me.

I wish I hadn’t dated her.

I found another, I’ve told you about her, she loves me, wants me there with her, but a city holds me and a memory.

I wish I wouldn’t wake.

I miss you!


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