She is a dancer on the winds,
Drifting gently like a feather,
Graceful there in silent memories,
Ones I would not dare contemplate tp sell for any price,
But in turn,
Ones I would like to forget.
I wish to see her smiling face again,
Beauty beyond any words I could use,
Indescribable in any terms I could imagine,
Both inside and out,
To hold her once again,
To feel her body against mine once more,
To kiss her sweet lips once more.
But how I wish to never see her face again,
Too hard of a thing;
A memory, a place, time does not heal all wounds.
Confliction of the mind,
Dual switches turning off and on,
Love torn in candle light,
Memories wanting to be ripped like pages from a book,
To be tossed into the flames,
To be burned,
To be destroyed,
To be forgotten,
There they lie,
Features of her face,
Trying to forget, to once again hear her voice in the hallways of my mind,
I was the disaster to hit,
I was the wave crashing into the boat that was our life,
Capsizing the craft, breaking her into the rocks,
I was that storm at sea,
Wanting to forget,
Her cause of misery,
Wanting to never see her again,
Never to hurt her in the violent storm that is me,
Never to cause her misery again,
The devil inside me too out of control,
To ever be with her again.
I try to sleep,
To dare not dream of her,
To remove myself from that internal struggle of life,
I fail even at that; toss, turn, demons fighting dragons, trying for control.
There, in memories, she still lays,
I wish to see her once again, in body and in soul,
But that confliction, there in my mind,
I wish to never lay eyes upon her ever again,
Never to speak to her again,
To never cause her any confusion within her own mind,
Painful reminders to her of another life,
Reminded by me, in my actions, too painful for her.
I wish not to hear her voice,
But again, in confusion, I wish to hear her once again.
To feel her sweet embrace,
To feel her long lingering kisses.
To myself, I write this letter to my future self,
To remind myselg of what a fool I was,
To let her slip from between my fingers,
Like grains of sand,
Falling to the ground,
Never to be held again.
How I wish I could turn back time,
To relive those wonderful times,
To see her face once more.
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